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#2716 |  | People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them. -- Steven Wright
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#2717 |  | My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here". -- Steven Wright
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#2718 |  | You can't have everything... where would you put it? -- Steven Wright
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#2719 |  | I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died. -- Steven Wright
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#2720 |  | You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip over? Well, that's how I feel all the time. -- Steven Wright
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#2721 |  | I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and the building started up. So I took it out for a drive. A cop pulled me over for speeding. He asked me where I live... "Right here". -- Steven Wright
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#2722 |  | "Live or die, I'll make a million." -- Reebus Kneebus, before his jump to the center of the earth, Firesign Theater
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#2723 |  | The typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic light table for cutting and pasting documents.
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#2724 |  | There are bugs and then there are bugs. And then there are bugs. -- Karl Lehenbauer
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#2725 |  | My computer can beat up your computer. - Karl Lehenbauer
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