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| #4678 | | The three laws of thermodynamics:
(1) You can't get anything without working for it.
(2) The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
(3) You can only break even at absolute zero.
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| #4679 | | Theorem: a cat has nine tails.
Proof:
No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat.
Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
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| #4680 | | Theorem: All positive integers are equal.
Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.
Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B
(positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.
Proceed by induction:
If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1.
So A = B.
Assume that the theorem is true for some value k. Take A and B with
MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence
(A-1) = (B-1). Consequently, A = B.
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| #4681 | | Theory of Selective Supervision:
The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is
the one time the boss walks through the office.
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| #4682 | | theory, n.:
System of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to
originality, controversialism, incomprehensibility, and how good
it will look in print.
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| #4683 | | There are three ways to get something done:
(1) Do it yourself.
(2) Hire someone to do it for you.
(3) Forbid your kids to do it.
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| #4684 | | Those lovable Brits department:
They also have trouble pronouncing `vitamin'.
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| #4685 | | Three rules for sounding like an expert:
(1) Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
(2) Always point out second-order effects, but never point out
when they can be ignored.
(3) Come up with three rules of your own.
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| #4686 | | Thyme's Law:
Everything goes wrong at once.
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| #4687 | | timesharing, n:
An access method whereby one computer abuses many people.
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