The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and ends
when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
Any cook who swears in French.
If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you--
the next time he's in need.
Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
|#3843||Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36:|
Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn headgear
where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer".
-- Chicago Reader 3/27/81
|#3844||Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84:|
The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request
for overheated passengers. When your timer pops up, the driver will
cheerfully baste you.
-- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin,
cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup
can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.
-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
|#3846||Chism's Law of Completion:|
The amount of time required to complete a government project is
precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
|#3847||Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:|
When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
| ... ... |