|#10712||Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?|
A: With a blue-elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with
a blue-elephant gun.
|#10713||Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?|
A: Take away his credit cards.
|#10714||Q: How does a hacker fix a function which|
doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A: He changes the domain.
|#10715||Q: How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?|
A: Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of
speech, but under the United States constitution they are
guaranteed freedom after speech.
-- being told in Poland, 1987
|#10716||Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?|
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment
of license fee (binary only).
|#10717||Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?|
A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
|#10718||Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?|
A: Five. One to screw in the light bulb and four to share the
experience. (Actually, Californians don't screw in
light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all
those Californians trying to share the experience.
|#10719||Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a light bulb?|
A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it.
|#10720||Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?|
A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
Q: How long does it take?
A: It's indeterminate.
It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.
Q: What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A: They replace your generator.
|#10721||Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?|
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There's a footprint in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's two footprints in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut.
Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
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