
#10070   1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.


#10071   1 Billion dollars of budget deficit = 1 GrammRudman 6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears = Avocado's number 2 pints = 1 Cavort Basic unit of Laryngitis = The Hoarsepower Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line 6 Curses = 1 Hexahex 3500 Calories = 1 Food Pound 1 Mole = 007 Secret Agents 1 Mole = 25 Cagey Bees 1 Dog Pound = 16 oz. of Alpo 1000 beers served at a Twins game = 1 Killibrew 2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League 2000 pounds of chinese soup = 1 Won Ton 10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes = 1 Microscope Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = 1 Machturtle 8 Catfish = 1 Octopuss 365 Days of drinking LoCal beer. = 1 Liteyear 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies = 1 Fignewton to 1 meter per second One half large intestine = 1 Semicolon 10 to the minus 6th power Movie = 1 Microfilm 1000 pains = 1 Megahertz 1 Word = 1 Millipicture 1 Sagan = Billions & Billions 1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety = 1000 nailbytes 10 to the 12th power microphones = 1 Megaphone 10 to the 6th power Bicycles = 2 megacycles The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship = 1 Millihelen


#10072   (1) A sheet of paper is an inklined plane. (2) An inclined plane is a slope up. (3) A slow pup is a lazy dog.
QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.  Willard Espy, "An Almanac of Words at Play"


#10073   (1) Alexander the Great was a great general. (2) Great generals are forewarned. (3) Forewarned is forearmed. (4) Four is an even number. (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. (6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, all horses are black.


#10074   (1) Alexander the Great was a great general. (2) Great generals are forewarned. (3) Forewarned is forearmed. (4) Four is an even number. (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. (6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.


#10075   (1) Never draw what you can copy. (2) Never copy what you can trace. (3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.


#10076   (1) X=Y ; Given (2) X^2=XY ; Multiply both sides by X (3) X^2Y^2=XYY^2 ; Subtract Y^2 from both sides (4) (X+Y)(XY)=Y(XY) ; Factor (5) X+Y=Y ; Cancel out (XY) term (6) 2Y=Y ; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1 (7) 2=1 ; Divide both sides by Y  "Omni", proof that 2 equals 1


#10077   1.79 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight  it's not just a good idea, it's the law!


#10078   10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.


#10079   13. ... rq1



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