|#1021||"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder|
have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
reign. My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go
buy some more."
|#1022||I am more bored than you could ever possibly be. Go back to work.|
|#1023||I attribute my success to intelligence, guts, determination, honesty,|
ambition, and having enough money to buy people with those qualities.
|#1024||I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on|
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
|#1025||I cannot draw a cart, nor eat dried oats; If it be man's work I will do it.|
|#1026||I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when|
it has been used to commit a murder.
-- M. Gallaher
|#1027||I don't do it for the money.|
-- Donald Trump, Art of the Deal
|#1028||I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two|
highly trained certified public accountants.
-- Elvis Presley
|#1029||I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve|
immortality through not dying.
-- Woody Allen
|#1030|| I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the|
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.
Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to
have that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came
by subway." Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot
should someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.
| ... ... |