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#7138It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out
next morning it was someone else.
-- Will Rogers
#7139It has been justly observed by sages of all lands that although a man may be
most happily married and continue in that state with the utmost contentment,
it does not necessarily follow that he has therefore been struck stone-blind.
-- H. Warner Munn
#7140 It is always preferable to visit home with a friend. Your parents will
not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and
because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature
human beings.
The worst kind of friend to take home is a girl, because in that case,
there is the potential that your parents will lose you not just for the
duration of the visit but forever. The worst kind of girl to take home is one
of a different religion: Not only will you be lost to your parents forever but
you will be lost to a woman who is immune to their religious/moral arguments
and whose example will irretrievably corrupt you.
Let's say you've fallen in love with just such a girl and would like
to take her home for the holidays. You are aware of your parents' xenophobic
response to anyone of a different religion. How to prepare them for the shock?
Simple. Call them up shortly before your visit and tell them that you
have gotten quite serious about somebody who is of a different religion, a
different race and the same sex. Tell them you have already invited this
person to meet them. Give the information a moment to sink in and then
remark that you were only kidding, that your lover is merely of a different
religion. They will be so relieved they will welcome her with open arms.
-- Playboy, January, 1983
#7141It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This
is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the
last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give
-- Quentin Crisp, "How to Become a Virgin"
#7142It is idle to attempt to talk a young woman out of her passion:
love does not lie in the ear.
-- Walpole
#7143It is most dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his
wife in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when
they're alone. The world has grown so suspicious of anything that looks
like a happy married life.
-- Oscar Wilde
#7144It is not necessary to inquire whether a woman would like something for
dessert. The answer is yes, she would like something for dessert, but
she would like you to order it so she can pick at it with your fork. She
does not want you to call attention to this by saying, 'If you wanted a
dessert, why didn't you order one?' You must understand, she has the
dessert she wants. The dessert she wants is contained within yours.
-- Merrill Markoe, "An Insider's Guide to the American Woman"
#7145It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to
mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry.
-- H.L. Mencken
#7146It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.
-- Maimie Van Doren
#7147It takes a smart husband to have the last word and not use it.
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