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#6213 After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from
Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought,
and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon
to be created."
"This is true," He replied.
"He will need laws," said the Demon slyly.
"What! You, his appointed Enemy for all Time! You ask for the
right to make his laws?"
"Oh, no!" Satan replied, "I ask only that he be allowed to
make his own."
It was so granted.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#6214An amendment to a motion may be amended, but an amendment to an amendment
to a motion may not be amended. However, a substitute for an amendment to
and amendment to a motion may be adopted and the substitute may be amended.
-- The Montana legislature's contribution to the English
#6215An attorney was defending his client against a charge of first-degree murder.
"Your Honor, my client is accused of stuffing his lover's mutilated body into
a suitcase and heading for the Mexican border. Just north of Tijuana a cop
spotted her hand sticking out of the suitcase. Now, I would like to stress
that my client is *___not* a murderer. A sloppy packer, maybe..."
#6216An English judge, growing weary of the barrister's long-winded summation,
leaned over the bench and remarked, "I've heard your arguments, Sir
Geoffrey, and I'm none the wiser!" Sir Geoffrey responded, "That may be,
Milord, but at least you're better informed!"
#6217And then there was the lawyer that stepped in cow manure and thought
he was melting...
#6218Another day, another dollar.
-- Vincent J. Fuller, defense lawyer for John Hinckley,
upon Hinckley's acquittal for shooting President Ronald
#6219Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.
#6220Atlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole
or street lamp.
#6221Attorney General Edwin Meese III explained why the Supreme Court's Miranda
decision (holding that subjects have a right to remain silent and have a
lawyer present during questioning) is unnecessary: "You don't have many
suspects who are innocent of a crime. That's contradictory. If a person
is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect."
-- U.S. News and World Report, 10/14/85
#6222Be frank and explicit with your lawyer ... it is his business to confuse
the issue afterwards.
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