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#3998First Rule of History:
History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.
#3999Fishbowl, n.:
A glass-enclosed isolation cell where newly promoted managers are
kept for observation.
#4000Five rules for eternal misery:
(1) Always try to exhort others to look upon you favorably.
(2) Make lots of assumptions about situations and be sure to
treat these assumptions as though they are reality.
(3) Then treat each new situation as though it's a crisis.
(4) Live in the past and future only (become obsessed with
how much better things might have been or how much worse
things might become).
(5) Occasionally stomp on yourself for being so stupid as to
follow the first four rules.
#4001flannister, n.:
The plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
#4002Flon's Law:
There is not now, and never will be, a language in
which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
#4003flowchart, n. & v.:
[From flow "to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair" + chart
"a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated."]
1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction
problems in which given algorithms require geometrical representation
using only the 35 basic ideograms of the ANSI template. 2. n. Neronic
doodling while the system burns. 3. n. A low-cost substitute for
wallpaper. 4. n. The innumerate misleading the illiterate. "A
thousand pictures is worth ten lines of code." -- The Programmer's
Little Red Vade Mecum, Mao Tse T'umps. 5. v.intrans. To produce
flowcharts with no particular object in mind. 6. v.trans. To obfuscate
(a problem) with esoteric cartoons.
-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
#4004Flugg's Law:
When you need to knock on wood is when you realize
that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
#4005Fog Lamps, n.:
Excessively (often obnoxiously) bright lamps mounted on the fronts
of automobiles; used on dry, clear nights to indicate that the
driver's brain is in a fog. See also "Idiot Lights".
#4006Foolproof Operation:
No provision for adjustment.
#4007Forecast, n.:
A prediction of the future, based on the past, for
which the forecaster demands payment in the present.
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