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#7228Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.
-- H.H. Munro
#7229... most of us learned about love the hard way. Even warnings are probably
useless, for somehow, despite the severest warnings of parents and friends,
hundreds, thousands of women have forgotten themselves at the last minute
and succumbed to the lies, promises, flatteries, or mere attentions of
lusting, lovely men, landing themselves in complicated predicaments from
which some of them never recovered during their entire lives. And I am not
speaking only of your teenaged Midwesterners in 1958; I'm speaking of women
of every age in every city in every year. The notorious sexual revolution
has saved no one from the pain and confusion of love.
-- Alix Kates Shulman
#7230My notion of a husband at forty is that a woman should be able to change him,
like a bank note, for two twenties.
#7231Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he gives you candy.
-- Linda Festa
#7232Never argue with a woman when she's tired -- or rested.
#7233Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc.
And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
-- Nelson Algren, "What Every Young Man Should Know"
#7234Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller, "Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints"
#7235Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
-- Nelson Algren
#7236Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your old lady walks
in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm
tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck `Lay
On Top Of Me Or I'll Die'. I didn't know what I was gonna do..."
-- Lenny Bruce
#7237New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age,
and his wife most often reminds him to act it.
-- Webster's Unafraid Dictionary
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