fortune index all fortunes
A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to
each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on
the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction
of the axis of spin.
-- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary
|#4069||H. L. Mencken's Law:|
Those who can -- do.
Those who can't -- teach.
Those who cannot teach -- administrate.
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
|#4071||Hacker's Quicky #313:|
Sour Cream -n- Onion Potato Chips
Microwave Egg Roll
A master byter.
Originally, any person with a knack for coercing stubborn inanimate
things; hence, a person with a happy knack, later contracted by the
mythical philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, 'hack'.
In olden times, upon completion of some particularly atrocious body
of coding that happened to work well, culpable programmers would gather
in a small circle around a first edition of Knuth's Best Volume I by
candlelight, and proceed to get very drunk while sporadically rending
the following ditty:
Hacker's Fight Song
He's a Hack! He's a Hack!
He's a guy with the happy knack!
Never bungles, never shirks,
Always gets his stuff to work!
All take a drink (important!)
|#4074||Hale Mail Rule, The:|
When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least
one of the following:
(a) A pen or pencil or typewriter.
(c) Postage stamp.
(d) The letter you are answering.
This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still crunchy,
light green, yet full of garlic flavor. The difference between this
and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the
difference between life and death.
You may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill there
in Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the airport,
fly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough Hall,
transfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on
Essex (along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk
about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop. Say to the
man, "Let me have a nice half-done." Worth the trouble, wasn't it?
-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and
commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
|#4077||handshaking protocol, n:|
A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initate a
terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
| ... ... |
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