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#4128 |  | Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.
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#4129 |  | Immutability, Three Rules of: (1) If a tarpaulin can flap, it will. (2) If a small boy can get dirty, he will. (3) If a teenager can go out, he will.
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#4130 |  | Impartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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#4131 |  | inbox, n.: A catch basin for everything you don't want to deal with, but are afraid to throw away.
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#4132 |  | incentive program, n.: The system of long and short-term rewards that a corporation uses to motivate its people. Still, despite all the experimentation with profit sharing, stock options, and the like, the most effective incentive program to date seems to be "Do a good job and you get to keep it."
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#4133 |  | Incumbent, n.: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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#4134 |  | index, n.: Alphabetical list of words of no possible interest where an alphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.
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#4135 |  | Infancy, n.: The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies about us." The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. -- Ambrose Bierce
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#4136 |  | Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
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#4137 |  | Information Processing: What you call data processing when people are so disgusted with it they won't let it be discussed in their presence.
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