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#5897 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -- Gilda Radner
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#5898 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. -- Steven Wright
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#5899 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II." -- Dave Barry, "An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar"
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#5900 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | "I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ..." -- Steven Wright
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#5901 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home. -- Groucho Marx
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#5902 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. -- Jack Benny
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#5903 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I don't get no respect.
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#5904 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell "Whooa, I'm *way* too high." -- Bruce Baum
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#5905 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I don't want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment. -- Woody Allen
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#5906 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts. I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups. -- Steven Wright
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