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#2111Real computer scientists don't write code. They occasionally tinker with
`programming systems', but those are so high level that they hardly count
(and rarely count accurately; precision is for applications).
#2112Real computer scientists like having a computer on their desk, else how
could they read their mail?
#2113Real computer scientists only write specs for languages that might run
on future hardware. Nobody trusts them to write specs for anything homo
sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
#2114Real programmers disdain structured programming. Structured programming is
for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet- trained. They wear
neckties and carefully line up pencils on otherwise clear desks.
#2115Real programmers don't bring brown-bag lunches. If the vending machine
doesn't sell it, they don't eat it. Vending machines don't sell quiche.
#2116Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.
#2117Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the
illiterate's form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how
much good it did them.
#2118Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.
#2119Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
spring up in the middle of the machine room.
#2120Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in
BASIC after reaching puberty.
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