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#2121Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and
crystallography weenies. FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.
#2122Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't
decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
#2123Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
#2124Real programs don't eat cache.
#2125Real Programs don't use shared text. Otherwise, how can they use functions
for scratch space after they are finished calling them?
#2126Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness.
This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a
computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package.
#2127Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and
greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any
moment. They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that
systems could be virtual at *___all* levels. They would like personal
computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your
DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their
Correctness Verification Aid packages.
#2128Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is
described in the formal spec. Working late would feel like using an
undocumented external procedure.
#2129Real Users are afraid they'll break the machine -- but they're never
afraid to break your face.
#2130Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts
down the system for days.
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