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#5116Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner:
Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!
Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet
behind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen
obedicing the instructs of the vessel.

On the door in a Belgrade hotel:
Let us know about any unficiency as well as leaking on
the service. Our utmost will improve it.

-- Colin Bowles
#5117Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

Sign on a cathedral in Spain:
It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
dressed as a man.

Above the enterance to a Cairo bar:
Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband
or similar.

On a Bucharest elevator:

The lift is being fixed for the next days.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

-- Colin Bowles
#5118Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

Various signs in Poland:

Right turn toward immediate outside.

Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons.

Five o'clock tea at all hours.

In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Shake excess water from hands, push button to start,
rub hands rapidly under air outlet and wipe hands
on front of shirt.

-- Colin Bowles, San Francisco Chronicle
#5119Iowans ask why Minnesotans don't drink more Kool-Aid. That's because
they can't figure out how to get two quarts of water into one of those
little paper envelopes.
#5120Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?
-- Herb Caen
#5121It's hard to argue that God hated Oklahoma. If He didn't, why is it so
close to Texas?
#5122It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.
-- Kevin White, Mayor of Boston
#5123It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
-- Alexander Korda
#5124It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that
English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many
other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.
-- Sydney J. Harris
#5125It's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
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